Grammatically, the title is incorrect. It should have been ‘I have pretty ill genes’ but no, it’s not about having pretty ill genes. Its about having pretty and ill genes but I didn’t like the ‘and’ thing, so I skipped it. I don’t think I can come up with a better title to place above this post. Enough about title, I should start writing the real thing.
So.. nowadays, I’m going through the most difficult phase that every Pakistani girl has to go through - the phase of finding a husband! I, personally, am not going through it nor do I want to, but I have some relatives who like to ‘take care’ of things.. that’s right, you got it. Though twenty is a young age for it, as most urban people will put it, but when you are left with no mother to look after you, you are supposed to get married ASAP. I wonder what dads are for! Coming back to what I wanted to write about, it was something that happened almost two years ago, but today, I came across something that was not even linked to it but somehow reminded me of that incident.
I had a boyfriend who was from a very well educated family. Both his parents were dentists, which is VERY big in Pakistan. No, not being a dentist, being a ‘doctor.’ People who gain this precious prefix before their names are considered ‘better’ than those who fail in doing so. I, on the other hand, dumped this opportunity by quiting pharmacy but that’s a different matter. Anyway, as the culture here does not permit us to get engaged and tell our parents, as happens in Vegas West. Here, we have to tell our parents we like someone and then they see into the matter and so on things are sorted out.. or not.
When my ex-boyfriend told his mother about me and my family, she came up with an amazingly absurd flaw in me. Out of all the things he told her about me, she got stuck on the fact that my mother was a diabetic. And because she was a diabetic, I have a 50% chance of getting the disease, and my kids could have a 25% chance of it who could be her grandchildren if this matter proceeded and she didn’t want grandchildren who could’ve a 1/4th chance of being diabetic. She must have been a topper at medical school!
My reaction to this whole thing was; ‘I cannot change my genes!’
Yes, I do have a very strong diabetic history on my maternal side so.. WHAT?!? I have pretty genes too, and those too are from my maternal side. I felt really sorry for the doctor mother because she missed those really pretty (and diabetic) grandchildren, which other moms so look forward to! I also felt that if this matter proceeded, I’d have to take my CBC, MRI, CT-scan, UltraSound and all other such reports over tea.
I’m living in this society for four years and I have, every time, failed to see the logic behind it’s norms. The social class I belong to might have come out of the ethical issues but we are not ready to give up the habit of finding flaws. God forbids, what if one of her child gets hurt really bad in an accident or something and their face is messed up? Or if later in life, she got diabetes?
Note: This post is not directed towards the doctor mom personally. And the break-up was not because of her as well. Also, in the above lines, by ‘her’ I mean the people who think like that.
They just have to find a flaw in you even when you’re pretty, size small, intelligent and from a cultured, educated family. At that time, I was upset and confused. Today, when I remembered this, I just laughed my heart out. I might reach my thirties and still be single, something not liked here, but I’m never ever going to accept a man, and his mom, who cannot accept my ill genes!